Why I Need A Perpetual Late Pass

Cocaine Procrastination is a hell of a drug and believe me, its easy to get hooked.

Procrastination is the very reason why its been damn near 600 days since the last time I've made a blog post. Since my last blog post exactly 37.2 trillion blog worthy events have transpired and I completely missed the opportunity to write about them. In my defense I am a self-diagnosed sufferer of a very debilitating disease called "Chronic Procrastination Disorder" (also known as CPD.) It should be noted that Chronic Procrastination Disorder is an acute form of CPT (colored people time) and it affects people of all ages and races.

Seriously though, while I was suppose to be mailing some promotional material at work I looked up chronic procrastination on WebMD and Wikipeda. You probably aren't surprised that I couldn't find a single WebMD article about CPD (but thats only because I made it up myself) so technically it isn't a "real disease" but According to Wikipedia, the act of chronically procrastinating may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.

*Checks mail for Disability Check and crazy pill prescription*

I'll admit I have no medical training besides religiously watching 6 seasons of Greys Anatomy, but here is my personal assessment of CPD:

Symptoms

...you have a distorted understanding of time, including confusion about time of day, day of week, or current month or year. This distorted understanding of time has lead you to attempt to use expired coupons or other out-dated material such as credit cards .

...you have a carton of milk in your refrigerator that is 30+ days past the expiration date.

...you are late to work or school more often than you are on time.

...you have bread that is growing so much mold folks claim to see images of the Virgin Mary in it.

...during daylight savings time you don't set your clocks back but are still late to everything

P.S You might have CPD if you've experienced 3 or more of the above.

Triggers
Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.

Treatment
Get off your ass, move around, and put your hands on something.

*Sigh* Personally I'd rather just take a pill, get a shot or wear a patch or something. As a matter of fact, this diagnosis is making me depressed... there's a pill for that too right? I should probably finish this damn post but I feel a CPD attack coming on. I should probably get some rest or something.

Talk to y'all later.