I'll Show You How to Do This...

I should have titled this, "Everything I needed to know about dating I learned from Jay-Z" but the title was just too long.

First, of all, I already know what some of y'all are going to say. So let me set the record straight, No, this is not a shameless plug for my favorite rapper. The fact of the matter is that when Mr. Carter was at the pinnacle of his career, I was in the beginning stages of my dating years. Its always good to get advice about men, from a man; so, without further ado, ladies, here's some very valuable advice from Jay-Z to me to you. Oh yeah- on behalf of him and I, you're welcome!

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Jay-Z on Players: "You can't change a players game in the 9th inning" From: "Ain't No..." (Reasonable Doubt)

What this means: Bad habits die hard, and old habits die harder. You'd be crazy to think that you can a make a man change the way he operates. If he was a player when you found him, expect him to be one when you give him back.

What this doesn't mean: This doesn't mean that men can can't change or won't change; it only means that YOU can't change him. Also, keep in mind that if a man has been doing something for 20+ years of his life, don't expect him to change after the first 6 months of dating you.

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Jay-Z on dating: "Take your time when you likin' a guy/cuz If he sense that your feelings to intense/ its pimp or die" From "Soon You'll Understand" (The Dynasty: The Roc La Familia)

What this means: Don't present a guy with an opportunity to take advantage of you. If you're dealing with a guy and you're doing something- anything that makes his life easier, he will probably keep you around for as long as he can, even if he doesn't like you.

What this doesn't mean: Don't play games, but don't start acting like you're his girlfriend, after a couple of dates. This means, don't start running his errands, "loaning" money, trickin' off, or getting naked before you're sure the feelings are reciprocal. Even then, proceed with caution.

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Jay-Z on : "Ma don't give him nuthin, less he treating you special..." From: "Show You How" (The Blueprint)

What this means: This seems like its pretty self explanatory, but it isn't. Let him go out of his way for you. Make him show you how feels, as opposed to him only telling you all of the time. Don't give him nothing- no sex, no head, no time, no money, no nothing, until he has given you a reason* to. (*Reasons may vary)

What this doesn't mean: Don't start throwing your panties at him, just because he sent you a text message with a smiley face at the end. Don't hop in the sack with him just he "got your nails done." Don't give him head in his car just because he introduced you to his friends as his girl.


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Jay-Z on Break-ups: "Shed a tear or two, but don't get to crazy, baby, why are you behaving, like there ain't other fish in the fish bowl..." From: "Shake it off (remix)", (The Emancipation of Mimi)

What this Means: Break-ups happen, things fall apart, its inevitable. Listen to "Cry Me a River" by J. Timberlake, or "Not Gon' Cry" by MJB, shed a tear and keep it moving. Don't forget that there is more than one eligable bachelor, worthy of your time and affections in your vacinity. A break up ain't the end of world, so don't act like it is.

What this doens't mean: This doesn't mean cry your eyes out for days, become depressed or worry to much about finding a replacement for whoever you just got rid of.

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What Jonnie Thinks:
Don't give miscellaneous dudes, boyfriend privileges and don't give your boyfriend husband privileges. You have to determine what that means to you. When you find yourself in a 12 year "relationship" with no ring, its probably because you didn't make the differentiation between boyfriend and husband, so neither did he. Why should he? Hmm...how does that saying go? Why buy the cow, when the cow followed you home and poured you a glass of milk for free?

Come to think of it why be the cow? In this dating game ladies, be the buyer, not the seller. Don't wait to get chosen, do the choosing.

...let the church say amen!